Where's the party??
Friday, April 30, 2004
I love this!
Here's a little something I found from the Track Smack archives on NASCAR.COM
Kasey Kahne: I wasn't at that race saw it on TV. I raced at Talladega for Robert in an ARCA race. I got squished into the wall by Tina and Deborah.
Lee Montgomery: Got hit by two women? Ouch.
Marty Smith: And you loved every minute of it, Kahne. Don't lie.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
You might be addicted to NASCAR if...
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If you wake up in the mornin to a alarm clock that says "Gentlemen Start your engines" with a motor sound behind it.
If you refer to going to the bathroom as a "Pit Stop".
Men, While going to the bathroom you swirl it in a left hand circle.
If you have a number painted on the side of your car/truck.
If you put a yellow stripe on the back of your teenagers car. .
If you have a conversation with any "normal" person an no matter what number they say you can name the driver.
If you only drive down one way streets so you can make a tight left turn.
If you time your self at the gas station against another person filling up your tank.
If you consider your Sunday Best to be a racing suit.
If you are in the store and "bang" another shopper with a cart so they don't pass.
If you log on to chat on the internet and your handle is anything like Wub2Race or LooseIntheCorner.
If you buy 4 new tires when you have only one flat.
If you have ever told a ex-girl/boy friend they didn't "Qualify".
If you are 1st at a stop light in traffic an you look around and think you're sittin on the pole.
If you tape the races and watch it more than one time after that.
If you are at a race and know what the lingo is on the scanners.
If you name your baby after any driver and use Dale as the middle name.
If you know all of the states and towns names of where the tracks are.
If you pass somebody by while walking an in your mind think "lapped him".
If you can remember the date of Daytona at the start of each season but not your wives/hubby birthday.
If you tell yer children they have been black flagged when they get in trouble.
If you can name the year and track of regular drivers 1st wins and not remember your wedding anniversary.
If you have gone to a auto parts store and asked for the window tear off film.
If the doors on your car/truck work fine and you still crawl in and out of the window.
If you go to Walmart once a week with your spending money and buy NASCAR ©™ related stuff.
If you save yer extra money for tickets to a race instead of a vacation every year.
If you have the NASCAR.com or RacinPortal.com website as your home page on the computer.
You run out of gas and try to explain to the cop (who's giving you a sobriety test) your weaving from lane to lane was just and attempt to get fuel into the pickup.
When you have an accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel. The next thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.
You're sitting behind someone at a red light, and when it changes, you yell, "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GO! GO! GO!"
You time yourself on your wrist watch when you pull into the self serve gas n go.
On an interstate exit ramp you stay on the outside to keep the RPM's up.
You make sure to stay under 55 when you leave the gas pumps.
You say "But officer, I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting"
You consider slower cars in the left lane as "lapped traffic"
Before traffic begins to resume regular speed on the highway, you find yourself weaving side to side warming up the tires to optimal tempature.
You can't wait for next year to see what Soap powder your favorite driver has as a sponsor because the one he's got now keeps giving you a rash.
You drive for 2 hours out to the nearest Valvoline Quik Lube.
While explaining to the officer why your car is smashed into the interstate ramps guardrail, you explain: Well, the First National Bank/ Smith Family Chevy was running great today. That blue Ford got in behind me, loosened me up , I drifted high and the next I knew, I was in the wall, but......I don't blame the other driver, heck, what can I say....that's racing!!
You have ever actually yelled "YOU KISS MY A**" out the window of your car when you see a car with a 24 sticker in the window.
You've ever pushed little kids to the ground at Toy-R-Us to get to the Racing Champions cars first.
You rearrange your diecasts to match the grid during cautions.
You have a mini winners circle for your dicasts.
You get caught stealing the lifesize cut out of your favoritie driver from the local convience store.
You refer to the family mini van as the "team hauler"
You hit the car in front of you, and tell the officer "Rubbin is Racin!"
You've ever seriously considered putting an "onboard camara" in your car.
You plan family vacations around race dates.
When you pass someone on the highway you refer to it as taking them on the inside.
You take your 4yr old son with you because you need a spotter.
You sign up for flu shots (at work) on Fridays so you can fake sick in order to get home in time for qualifying.
After riding behind the same two dumdums riding side by side for SOOOOooooo long, you decide to make it three wide down the front stretch, and pass them in the emergency lane ( after looking, of course)
Your buddy is passing someone on the interstate, you're in the passanger seat yelling, "CAR HIGH!!!....CLEAR!!!"
You can get 12cans of beer, 4quarts Gatorade, and 8 sandwiches into a 14" cooler and NOT squash anything.
You think nothing of getting up at 4am, driving for 5 hours, sitting in a traffic backup for 3 hours, baking in the sun, spending 5 hours to get out of the parking lot, driving 5 hours home, getting up the next morning at 5am, going to work on 3 hours sleep, and telling everybody what a GREAT time you had!
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If you wake up in the mornin to a alarm clock that says "Gentlemen Start your engines" with a motor sound behind it.
If you refer to going to the bathroom as a "Pit Stop".
Men, While going to the bathroom you swirl it in a left hand circle.
If you have a number painted on the side of your car/truck.
If you put a yellow stripe on the back of your teenagers car. .
If you have a conversation with any "normal" person an no matter what number they say you can name the driver.
If you only drive down one way streets so you can make a tight left turn.
If you time your self at the gas station against another person filling up your tank.
If you consider your Sunday Best to be a racing suit.
If you are in the store and "bang" another shopper with a cart so they don't pass.
If you log on to chat on the internet and your handle is anything like Wub2Race or LooseIntheCorner.
If you buy 4 new tires when you have only one flat.
If you have ever told a ex-girl/boy friend they didn't "Qualify".
If you are 1st at a stop light in traffic an you look around and think you're sittin on the pole.
If you tape the races and watch it more than one time after that.
If you are at a race and know what the lingo is on the scanners.
If you name your baby after any driver and use Dale as the middle name.
If you know all of the states and towns names of where the tracks are.
If you pass somebody by while walking an in your mind think "lapped him".
If you can remember the date of Daytona at the start of each season but not your wives/hubby birthday.
If you tell yer children they have been black flagged when they get in trouble.
If you can name the year and track of regular drivers 1st wins and not remember your wedding anniversary.
If you have gone to a auto parts store and asked for the window tear off film.
If the doors on your car/truck work fine and you still crawl in and out of the window.
If you go to Walmart once a week with your spending money and buy NASCAR ©™ related stuff.
If you save yer extra money for tickets to a race instead of a vacation every year.
If you have the NASCAR.com or RacinPortal.com website as your home page on the computer.
You run out of gas and try to explain to the cop (who's giving you a sobriety test) your weaving from lane to lane was just and attempt to get fuel into the pickup.
When you have an accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel. The next thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.
You're sitting behind someone at a red light, and when it changes, you yell, "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GO! GO! GO!"
You time yourself on your wrist watch when you pull into the self serve gas n go.
On an interstate exit ramp you stay on the outside to keep the RPM's up.
You make sure to stay under 55 when you leave the gas pumps.
You say "But officer, I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting"
You consider slower cars in the left lane as "lapped traffic"
Before traffic begins to resume regular speed on the highway, you find yourself weaving side to side warming up the tires to optimal tempature.
You can't wait for next year to see what Soap powder your favorite driver has as a sponsor because the one he's got now keeps giving you a rash.
You drive for 2 hours out to the nearest Valvoline Quik Lube.
While explaining to the officer why your car is smashed into the interstate ramps guardrail, you explain: Well, the First National Bank/ Smith Family Chevy was running great today. That blue Ford got in behind me, loosened me up , I drifted high and the next I knew, I was in the wall, but......I don't blame the other driver, heck, what can I say....that's racing!!
You have ever actually yelled "YOU KISS MY A**" out the window of your car when you see a car with a 24 sticker in the window.
You've ever pushed little kids to the ground at Toy-R-Us to get to the Racing Champions cars first.
You rearrange your diecasts to match the grid during cautions.
You have a mini winners circle for your dicasts.
You get caught stealing the lifesize cut out of your favoritie driver from the local convience store.
You refer to the family mini van as the "team hauler"
You hit the car in front of you, and tell the officer "Rubbin is Racin!"
You've ever seriously considered putting an "onboard camara" in your car.
You plan family vacations around race dates.
When you pass someone on the highway you refer to it as taking them on the inside.
You take your 4yr old son with you because you need a spotter.
You sign up for flu shots (at work) on Fridays so you can fake sick in order to get home in time for qualifying.
After riding behind the same two dumdums riding side by side for SOOOOooooo long, you decide to make it three wide down the front stretch, and pass them in the emergency lane ( after looking, of course)
Your buddy is passing someone on the interstate, you're in the passanger seat yelling, "CAR HIGH!!!....CLEAR!!!"
You can get 12cans of beer, 4quarts Gatorade, and 8 sandwiches into a 14" cooler and NOT squash anything.
You think nothing of getting up at 4am, driving for 5 hours, sitting in a traffic backup for 3 hours, baking in the sun, spending 5 hours to get out of the parking lot, driving 5 hours home, getting up the next morning at 5am, going to work on 3 hours sleep, and telling everybody what a GREAT time you had!
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Monday, April 19, 2004
Drunken Weekend Recap
Jenn came for her visit. This gave me a great excuse to get drunk.....friend coming in from out of town. And believe me got drunk. I'm not going to go in to all the details, but I was drunk Friday night and Saturday night. Saturday night being the worst. I did 7 shots which included 2 shots of Jose Cuervo...he is the devil! I dropped my beer on the floor at Wild Bills, shattering the bottle. I also fell down the stairs. Last but not least, I did an unintentional dive roll into the garage when we got home. Those are basically the highlights of my drunken weekend.
Jenn came for her visit. This gave me a great excuse to get drunk.....friend coming in from out of town. And believe me got drunk. I'm not going to go in to all the details, but I was drunk Friday night and Saturday night. Saturday night being the worst. I did 7 shots which included 2 shots of Jose Cuervo...he is the devil! I dropped my beer on the floor at Wild Bills, shattering the bottle. I also fell down the stairs. Last but not least, I did an unintentional dive roll into the garage when we got home. Those are basically the highlights of my drunken weekend.
Friday, April 09, 2004
Pour me something tall and strong maybe a hurricane before I go insane.......
I'm excited... I am actually going out tonight. I'm going through alcohol withdrawls right now. I'm thinking about running downtairs and grabbing a Thin Ice as I type this. Next weekend is going to be even better. My friend Jennifer is coming down to visit from Michigan. I have a feeling its going to be a very wild and crazy weekend. It probably won't beat the Heidi's birthday weekend 2003 but I don't think anything will ever top that one....that was the ultimate party/drinking weekend. It will go down in history.
I'm excited... I am actually going out tonight. I'm going through alcohol withdrawls right now. I'm thinking about running downtairs and grabbing a Thin Ice as I type this. Next weekend is going to be even better. My friend Jennifer is coming down to visit from Michigan. I have a feeling its going to be a very wild and crazy weekend. It probably won't beat the Heidi's birthday weekend 2003 but I don't think anything will ever top that one....that was the ultimate party/drinking weekend. It will go down in history.
Sunday, April 04, 2004
A Sweet Victory For Sadler!!!!
Elliott Sadler just won the Samsung/Radioshack 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. I can't even explain how happy I am right not. Here at the house things got a little dicey towards the end. On one end of the couch was myself cheering on Elliott Sadler, at the opposite end of the couch was Heidi rooting for Kasey Kahne. The last few laps we both were nervous, Kasey was hard charging toward Elliott and there was a very good chance of him overtaking the lead. But Elliott prevailed by half a car length and he is the man!!!!!!!! I am a Kasey Kahne fan also but when it comes down to Elliott and Kasey racing each other....I'm taking the Candyman Elliott Sadler! GO #38!!!!!
Elliott Sadler just won the Samsung/Radioshack 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. I can't even explain how happy I am right not. Here at the house things got a little dicey towards the end. On one end of the couch was myself cheering on Elliott Sadler, at the opposite end of the couch was Heidi rooting for Kasey Kahne. The last few laps we both were nervous, Kasey was hard charging toward Elliott and there was a very good chance of him overtaking the lead. But Elliott prevailed by half a car length and he is the man!!!!!!!! I am a Kasey Kahne fan also but when it comes down to Elliott and Kasey racing each other....I'm taking the Candyman Elliott Sadler! GO #38!!!!!
Saturday, April 03, 2004
The Bitch is Back!!
After a week of our Internet being down today it magically started to work again. I am sooooo happy now! Last weekend I went to Bristol, Tennessee for NASCAR racing. I loved it. It was awesome! I met my parents and their 2 friends there. The one minor problem was the fact that they had tickets and I didn't. Not to worry though, my dad decided to make a sign that read NEEDED ONE NEXTEL CUP TICKET AND ONE BUSCH TICKET not too long after we carried the sign for awhile, I got 2 tickets. And the were better than the one my parents had. For the Food City 500 Nextel Cup race on Sunday I sat at the start finish line.......it was awesome. I had a great view of winner Kurt Busch doing his burnouts and donuts. It was a little unfortunate that Kurt Busch won, but as much as I hate to admit it....I'm starting to like him a little more. He is a good driver and a smart person. Anyway, I was rooting for Rusty Wallace who finished second.... he just didn't have enough to pass Kurt for the win. Sadly enough, Kasey Kahne hit the wall and his day ended early. Of course that would happen I had just bought a Kasey Kahne shirt the day before and was wearing it. Elliott Sadler didn't fare too well either, he finished 14th. I've also decided I can't stand Dale Earnhardt Jr. or his fans. They are obnoxious and inconsiderate. And he is pretty much a first class jerk. Listening to his team communications on the scanner, he implied his team would be nothing without him so they better stop screwing up his car. After hearing that I lost a lot of respect for him. He also got what was coming to him. Coming close to going a lap down he spun out on purpose to bring out the caution, and then bragged about it. Well, he got fined $10,000 and docked 25 points...SUCKS TO BE JUNIOR
OK that's enough about NASCAR....I need to find a new job. I think I want to waitress again. I'm seriously kicking myself in the ass for taking my current job and quitting the waitressing thing. Yeah I'm a dumbass.
After a week of our Internet being down today it magically started to work again. I am sooooo happy now! Last weekend I went to Bristol, Tennessee for NASCAR racing. I loved it. It was awesome! I met my parents and their 2 friends there. The one minor problem was the fact that they had tickets and I didn't. Not to worry though, my dad decided to make a sign that read NEEDED ONE NEXTEL CUP TICKET AND ONE BUSCH TICKET not too long after we carried the sign for awhile, I got 2 tickets. And the were better than the one my parents had. For the Food City 500 Nextel Cup race on Sunday I sat at the start finish line.......it was awesome. I had a great view of winner Kurt Busch doing his burnouts and donuts. It was a little unfortunate that Kurt Busch won, but as much as I hate to admit it....I'm starting to like him a little more. He is a good driver and a smart person. Anyway, I was rooting for Rusty Wallace who finished second.... he just didn't have enough to pass Kurt for the win. Sadly enough, Kasey Kahne hit the wall and his day ended early. Of course that would happen I had just bought a Kasey Kahne shirt the day before and was wearing it. Elliott Sadler didn't fare too well either, he finished 14th. I've also decided I can't stand Dale Earnhardt Jr. or his fans. They are obnoxious and inconsiderate. And he is pretty much a first class jerk. Listening to his team communications on the scanner, he implied his team would be nothing without him so they better stop screwing up his car. After hearing that I lost a lot of respect for him. He also got what was coming to him. Coming close to going a lap down he spun out on purpose to bring out the caution, and then bragged about it. Well, he got fined $10,000 and docked 25 points...SUCKS TO BE JUNIOR
OK that's enough about NASCAR....I need to find a new job. I think I want to waitress again. I'm seriously kicking myself in the ass for taking my current job and quitting the waitressing thing. Yeah I'm a dumbass.
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